Meme quotes

Curated meme quotes, joke aphorisms, and internet-persona one-liners clearly labeled as comedy.

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

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“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

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“Do not call it patience when you are only afraid to turn the key.”

“Never confuse motion with progress; a spinning tire also works hard.”

“A calm man with receipts is louder than a crowd with opinions.”

“A clean jacket means nothing if the pockets are full of old excuses.”

“If loyalty changes price every morning, it was never loyalty; it was a subscription.”

“A full tank is not a destination, brother. It is just potential with petrol.”

“When the room gets loud, check who is still moving the furniture.”

“Chuck Norris does not refresh the page; the page remembers what it forgot.”

“When Chuck Norris misses a deadline, the deadline apologizes for standing too close.”

“Chuck Norris once muted a group chat by looking disappointed at his phone.”