Mark Twain Quotes & Sayings

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”

“We lavish gifts upon children, but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.”

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”

“Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

“There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good, it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones, it can lift men to angelship.”

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience — this is the ideal life.”

“What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

“There are not enough morally brave men in stock; we are out of moral courage material.”

“'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.”

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. 'Tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expect more.”

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.”

“Do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

“Reading quotes and life lessons is like conversing with the finest minds of past centuries. And what could be better than a conversation with one of the most brilliant and wise men in modern history?”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.”