Mark Twain Quotes & Sayings

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting its shoes on.”

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”

“To be busy is man's only happiness.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

“Always obey your parents when they are present. This is the best policy in the long run, because if you don't, they will make you.”

“Be careful about reading health books, you may die of a misprint.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn't.”

“The truth must be served like a coat and not thrown in the face like a wet towel.”

“Only two things we'll regret on our deathbed: that we loved too little and traveled too little.”

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform, or pause and reflect.”

“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”

“Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence in society.”

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

“After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning: it is better to live outside the garden with her than inside it without her.”

“April 1 — This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.”

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.”

“Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that makes you smile.”

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”