What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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About this quote

Human ego constantly drives us to put ourselves at the center of the universe. We assume we are the absolute crown of creation. Yet, a quick look at the morning news shows how destructive and absurd our behavior really is. Why do we take ourselves so seriously when we so often act worse than wild animals? Drop the self-importance today and just try to be a slightly better human.

When to use it

  • When your manager schedules a three-hour meeting to brainstorm how to optimize bathroom break efficiency. You whisper this to your coworker to keep from losing your mind.
  • After a family gathering where your grown siblings managed to break the vacuum, spill juice on the dog, and start a screaming match over a cardboard box. You mutter it to yourself while sweeping up the mess.
  • Reading a viral social media thread where adults are aggressively threatening each other over the correct way to fold a slice of pizza. You send this quote to your group chat to sum up your frustration with the internet.