About this quote

Encounters with others leave traces on how we act, what we accept, and how we answer when someone calls our name. Notice which meetings pull you toward habits and which push you away. Ask yourself what shifted after a particular person entered your life and whether that change is useful or accidental. If you want to keep control, give the change a label, set a boundary, or keep a small object that reminds you who you were before and who you choose to be now.

When to use it

• At my first job, my manager started calling me 'the fixer' in meetings, and I realized I was taking on problems I never wanted—so I told them where I drew the line.
• In college, my roommate's study routine rubbed off on me; I stopped scrolling at night and my grades improved because I noticed the change and kept the habit.
• When I legally took my partner's last name, I had to decide which family stories and choices stayed with me and which didn't.
• A coach once said I could run a half marathon; I signed up, trained, and found I answered to a different version of myself at the finish line.