About this quote

A short, blunt refusal can break the pressure to bluff and let you decide what to do next. Say it and the expectation of a confident answer disappears, which gives you space to act instead of pretend. Practice a simple follow-up: admit you don't know, then offer one clear next step, like a deadline to check or a colleague to ask. Do the follow-up and people will trust you more than if you guessed and got it wrong.

When to use it

• Work — During a project status call when someone asks for the ROI number you never ran, you say, "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer," and promise to send the spreadsheet by the afternoon.
• Study — In office hours when a professor quizzes you on a theorem you haven't mastered, you laugh and say, "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer," then ask them to walk through the critical step.
• Family — At a holiday dinner when a relative presses you about tax rules you don't follow, you shrug and say, "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer," and change the subject to something you can discuss.
• Sport/Health — On a team call when the coach asks if you're cleared to play after an injury, you answer, "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer," then ask when the doctor will provide a report.