“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.”
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Misattributed quote
Popularly credited to Mahatma Gandhi but originates with Indira Gandhi; absent from Mahatma Gandhi's Wikiquote page entirely. Keep as a site-only searchable misattribution page, never voiced.
Likely origin: Indira Gandhi (India's PM), said during a border-dispute negotiation in the early 1970s; not Mahatma Gandhi. Brainyquote and multiple sources credit Indira Gandhi.
Review the attribution sourceAbout this quote
This line is usually credited to Gandhi but actually comes from Indira Gandhi, India's prime minister, spoken during a border negotiation; it is not from Mahatma Gandhi's writings. Its point still holds: you cannot defend and cooperate at the same instant, and reconciliation asks you to lower your guard first.
When to use it
- Two coworkers deadlocked on a project, each waiting for the other to concede before offering anything.
- A parent and teenager who keep tallying old grievances can't rebuild trust until one of them drops the scorecard.
- Separating spouses get nowhere on custody while each treats every request as an attack to be countered.