About this quote

Language can reach past the surface and change what people see about themselves. Say one clear thing and you force a listener to hold that detail. Want to be heard more often? Choose a single concrete fact or feeling before you speak, say it plainly, then stop. That small discipline makes your words do real work.

When to use it

• During a performance review I said, 'Point out the exact sentence that ruins this report,' and then left it there — I thought of Huxley when she rewrote it.
• After grading a paper I told a student, 'Show me the paragraph that doesn't support your thesis and fix only that part,' and watched her focus change.
• When my partner shrugged off vague hints, I said, 'You get winded after two flights of stairs and that's worrying me,' and he finally booked the checkup.
• Talking with my teen about trust I said, 'When you lied about where you were, I felt left out — tell me the truth next time,' and they listened.