About this quote

People hide their pain for reasons like shame or to keep others from worrying. Watch for small signals — a reddened cheek or a hand pressed to a mouth. Calling attention to them can force a scene; ignoring them completely can leave them more isolated. Make a quiet choice: sit nearby and offer a drink, or give space and check in later. Who in your life needs that kind of unobtrusive care?

When to use it

• After the staff review I saw Tom slip into the stairwell and dab his eyes; I remembered that line and waited at the top step until he came back.
• At family dinner my teen forced a laugh while wiping a tear; I pretended not to notice and left a short note on her plate later.
• When my friend got bad news in the hospital and tried to hide it, I stayed in the waiting room and arranged a ride instead of asking in front of everyone.
• After the final whistle our captain quietly left the locker room; I gave him a subtle nod from the bench and let him go without a speech.