“When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.”
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About this quote
It cuts through the lazy idea that arguing is only about proving yourself. Prepare your case, then study the person you face. Own your weaknesses, anticipate theirs, and make every conversation count.
When to use it
- Before a hard negotiation, write down your points and then list what the other side will want and why. Prepare first, predict second.
- When giving feedback at work, check your motives and rehearse your words, then think through how the colleague will react and what objections they’ll bring.
- Before a difficult family talk, spend time on your own feelings and goals, then imagine the other person’s fears so you can respond calmly and productively.
- In a debate or meeting, use one session to sharpen your argument and two to study the audience and opponents. You’ll find better routes to agreement.