About this quote

Risking honest feeling changes how you act and how others treat you. It will feel awkward at first, and some people will pull away while others will come closer. Try a small experiment: say one clear, calm thing about what you need and notice the response. If it lands well, keep going; if it hurts you, set a boundary and try again with someone safer.

When to use it

• Work — After a tense planning meeting, you tell your team: "I'm going to be honest about what I can handle — let's see what happens."
• Family — At a dinner where everyone avoids a topic, you say to your sister: "I keep thinking of Murakami's question; I'm going to say how I feel about Dad."
• Therapy/Health — Before a session you tell your therapist: "I read that line last night and decided to name my fear instead of hiding it."
• Money — When talking about shared bills with your partner you say: "Let's be straight about money for once. I'm going to try being open and see what happens."