About this quote

People carry reasons and costs you won't see. Before labeling someone's choice as wrong, stop and consider what led them there. Ask a direct question and listen instead of assuming you know the full story. That doesn't mean accepting harmful actions without response; it means responding from facts rather than certainty.

When to use it

• During a one-on-one at work after a teammate missed a deadline, I said, "Let's ask what was going on for you before we decide anything."
• At a family dinner when my sister announced she quit law school, I remembered this and asked, "What made you decide that?"
• When a friend chose an unconventional medical option, I held back quick judgment and asked how I could support them.
• After a teammate sat out practice for personal reasons, I told the coach, "We don't know their story—let's check in before criticizing."