“To forgive is not to forget. The merit lies in loving in spite of the vivid knowledge that one that must be loved is not a friend. There is no merit in loving an enemy when you forget him for a friend.”
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Probable attribution
This saying is widely associated with Mahatma Gandhi, but the attribution is not supported by a reliable primary source.
Likely origin: No dated primary; appears in the compilation 'Glorious Thoughts of Gandhi' (1965). The wording is garbled, suggesting a rough transcription.
About this quote
Forgiveness that depends on wiping the record clean is thin. The sturdier kind keeps its eyes open — it remembers exactly how someone fell short and chooses goodwill anyway. That clear-eyed choice, not amnesia, is what actually costs something.
When to use it
- A friend keeps the friendship after a betrayal without pretending it never happened.
- An employee works civilly with a colleague who once took credit for her project.
- Adult siblings stay close despite remembering old, real grievances.