About this quote

You cannot truly help someone if you secretly look down on them. People have an instinct for insincerity, and they can spot a fake gesture from a mile away. Before you offer advice or try to fix a colleague's problem, ask yourself if you actually respect their perspective. If you view others as projects to be solved rather than human beings with their own dignity, your efforts will fail. True connection starts when you quiet your own ego and listen.

When to use it

• A project manager realizes his team is ignoring his feedback because he treats them like cogs in a machine. He stops talking and starts asking about their career goals during their next one-on-one meetings.
• A mother wants to help her teenage son build better study habits but realizes she has been constantly nagging him. She sits down to listen to his frustrations about school first, acknowledging his pressure before offering study tips.
• A veteran basketball player wants to help the rookies improve their game. Instead of barking orders on the court, he takes them out for lunch to get to know them off the court first.