“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
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About this quote
People act out of either pulling back or opening up, and that choice changes everything you can try and who you can be for others. Start with one small practice of self-kindness so you stop wasting energy on beating yourself up. Ask yourself: what is one fear that keeps me small, and what is one tiny act of care I can do instead? Do that again tomorrow, and the habit of openness will make it easier to take risks and connect honestly with people.
When to use it
- Before my performance review at work, I stopped downplaying my wins and reminded myself to speak clearly about what I actually accomplished.
- In therapy, when my shame wanted to hide my mistakes, I used the idea to try a short self-compassion exercise instead of criticizing myself.
- After a big fight with my teenage daughter, I chose to send a calm message that started with 'I love you' rather than getting defensive again.
- The night before the marathon, I shifted from fearing failure to running because I enjoy it, and that change in attitude helped me finish stronger.