About this quote

Public shaming often says more about who noticed than about what actually happened. People get labeled when others choose to tell a story, not because the person suddenly changed. Ask who controls the narrative and what you can do about it. Try one concrete move: speak honestly to one person who will tell the truth about you, or correct a false version of events.

When to use it

• At a staff meeting after a colleague's private messages were leaked, you might say: 'There are no good girls gone wrong; just bad girls found out.'
• When an ex posts private texts and everyone piles on, you could tell a friend: 'There are no good girls gone wrong; just bad girls found out,' to call out the double standard.
• After parents discover a teen's secret party and brand her 'ruined,' a cousin might mutter: 'There are no good girls gone wrong; just bad girls found out.'
• When a female politician faces outrage because a personal detail went public, an adviser might tell reporters: 'There are no good girls gone wrong; just bad girls found out.'