About this quote

We spend a massive amount of time blaming other people or bad luck for our bad moods. The truth is much colder: we are often the ones actively torturing our own minds with constant regret and harsh self-talk. Do you ever stop to listen to how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? If you treated a friend the way you treat yourself, they would have walked out of your life long ago. Change starts when you decide to stop being your own worst enemy.

When to use it

• After missing a game-winning free throw, a basketball player sits in the locker room refusing to join the team dinner. He tells his teammate, 'I can't even look at the guys right now; I am my own worst punishment today.'
• A graphic designer gets minor feedback on a logo draft and spirals into thinking they are terrible at their job. They think to themselves, 'The client didn't even hate it, but here I am ruining my own evening by stressing over two small critiques.'
• A woman realizes she overspent on her budget this month and spends the weekend in bed feeling guilty. She tells her sister, 'The money is gone, but I am making myself twice as miserable by lying here wallowing in my own mistakes.'
• A father snaps at his kids after a long day, apologizes, but continues to feel like a terrible parent all night. He tells his wife, 'The kids already forgot about it and are playing, so why am I still sitting here making myself miserable?'