About this quote

Choices about staying or leaving someone tend to last longer than the crisis that made you consider leaving. Regret can become a constant if you act on a temporary feeling without checking what you'll feel years from now. Ask yourself whether you would be relieved or haunted by the decision, and give yourself a short pause to test that feeling. Try listing the practical reasons and the emotional consequences, then talk openly before making the split.

When to use it

• After a huge argument I sat on my packed bags and told myself out loud: if I walk out now, will I regret it forever? — then I called my partner and asked to talk.
• I had a fellowship offer overseas and, standing at the airport, I remembered this line and pictured my life one year from now to see if the move would cost me what mattered.
• On the morning of the rehearsal dinner I felt cold feet and whispered that sentence to see whether doubt was real or just nerves before going through with the wedding.