About this quote

Memory can make people feel present again by holding the small, specific things others forget. That closeness can comfort you, but it can also keep you stuck if remembering becomes the only way you relate to someone. Try keeping one clear object or a short recording you can use to visit a person without locking your life around them. Who do you call to mind when you tell their story?

When to use it

• Sorting my grandmother's things after her funeral, I opened a recipe card and thought how memory brings her back in the kitchen.
• At a retiring colleague's farewell, I told the team how copying one of his little habits keeps him on our projects.
• Before a big race, I replay my old coach's voice in my head so I can run with his push beside me.
• When I sit with my father who has Alzheimer's, I play his favorite song and he smiles like he's back for a moment.