About this quote

Your attention and time are limited resources, and you get to decide who earns them. When someone treats you like a convenience, you're the one doing the emotional labor while they keep options open. Ask yourself who consistently shows up and who only appears on their own timetable — that question clears the fog. Start with small boundaries: reduce last-minute favors, say no to plans that don't matter, and be direct about what you need; if they match your effort, keep them, if not, step back.

When to use it

• Dating: After he only texts late at night and cancels daytime plans, I told myself no more last-minute meetups until he proves he's serious.
• Friendship: My college friend expects rides and help with essays but never makes time for me, so I stopped covering for them and waited to see who reciprocated.
• Work: A coworker only asks me to take on extra tasks when they're swamped; I started logging my hours and refused unpaid overtime.
• Family: A cousin calls when they need money but never visits, so I set limits on lending and only offer support that doesn't drain me.