About this quote

We crave connection, but we crave status even more. Affection feels good, but making others feel inferior gives a darker, more addictive rush. Look at how you spend your money and your time. Are you buying that expensive car to find friends, or to make your neighbors feel small? It is easy to confuse being envied with being valued, but envy only breeds isolation.

When to use it

• Deciding whether to post a picture of an expensive hotel room on social media. 'I shouldn't post this vacation photo just to show off. I'm only doing it so my old classmates feel jealous of my lifestyle.'
• Chatting with a colleague about taking on a high-profile project. 'Honestly, I took the lead on the expansion project because I wanted everyone else in the office to wish they were in my shoes.'
• Talking to a gym buddy about extreme lifestyle choices. 'I don't even enjoy running these ultra-marathons anymore. I think I just like the look on people's faces when I tell them my weekly mileage.'
• Planning a child's birthday party with a partner. 'We don't need to hire a professional ice sculptor for a five-year-old's party. We're doing this to outdo the neighbors, not to make our kid happy.'