About this quote

Love often looks less like fireworks and more like choosing the same person despite their flaws. That choice can be generous and honest, or it can hide a fear of being alone. Ask yourself which it is for you: are you accepting a habit because it fits your life, or because you haven’t asked for more? If you want change, name the one flaw you tolerate and decide one concrete step to address it with the other person.

When to use it

• After my boyfriend left clothes all over the apartment again, I told a friend, "I put up with the mess because being with him still feels right."
• Talking after my sister forgot our plans, I said, "I need her in my life even with all her chaos."
• When weighing whether to move in with someone who drinks a lot, I asked myself aloud, "Am I staying because they complete me or because I'm afraid of being alone?"
• On a phone call about money with my partner, I admitted, "I tolerate their late payments because they make me laugh and we click."