About this quote

You can be open-hearted without handing your confidence to everyone. Be friendly, yes, but give important access slowly. Start small and watch how people behave under pressure before you rely on them for major things. Who keeps their word is the clearest test of real trust.

When to use it

• At work, when I'm choosing who will lead the client pitch, I stay friendly with the whole team but give the critical role to the teammate who's proven reliable.
• When my sister asks to borrow my car for a long trip, I let her take it for a short errand first to see if she returns it on time.
• Before I lend a friend a large sum, I start by lending a small amount and expect prompt repayment to decide if I can trust bigger loans.
• As the team captain, I pick the player for the crucial penalty not because they're popular but because they've handled pressure well in past games.