About this quote

People use claims about what is 'natural' to limit who gets to try certain roles. That line points to a rule set by culture, not a biological fact. Ask yourself who benefits when someone repeats this idea. Try one concrete move: test a skill people call 'unnatural' for you, or name the belief aloud when it shows up.

When to use it

• At a hiring meeting when a manager said women 'aren't cut out for tense negotiations,' I quoted Bardugo: 'It's not natural for women to fight,' and then asked if we were hiring for comfort or skill.
• At boxing class when the coach paused at the idea of mixed sparring, I remembered Bardugo's line 'It's not natural for women to fight' and signed up for every sparring slot anyway.
• When my mother told my daughter not to argue with boys at school, I said, 'Leigh Bardugo wrote, "It's not natural for women to fight,"—so what do you want to try?'
• In a literature seminar someone used the line to justify a character's passivity; I pushed back by asking what we give up when we accept 'natural' as an excuse.