About this quote

People often fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person in front of them. That turns the other person into a private keepsake instead of someone you share life with. Ask for real, visible signs — time, touch, direct words — things you can feel. If someone won't show up in ways you can feel, decide whether to ask for change or walk away.

When to use it

• On a first date: If you like me, ask to meet again or hold my hand so I know you mean it.
• After a friend posts a gush about you online: I appreciate that, but tell me in person next time so I can feel it too.
• When a parent brags about you to relatives but never says it directly: Say it to me, I need to hear you mean it.
• At work when a colleague praises you privately but won't back you up: If you believe in my idea, speak up in the meeting; I need support I can see.