“It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
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Probable attribution
This saying is widely associated with Mahatma Gandhi, but the attribution is not supported by a reliable primary source.
Likely origin: Widely cited to Young India, 22 October 1925; the primary text was not directly confirmed in this review.
About this quote
Warmth toward people who already like you costs little and proves less. The harder, more telling move is extending goodwill to someone who has cast you as the enemy: it breaks the cycle of mutual grievance, and unlike transactional friendliness, it isn't repaid on the spot.
When to use it
- A worker helps the colleague who has been badmouthing her, shifting the whole team's mood.
- Estranged siblings slowly thaw when one keeps showing up warmly despite the old resentment.
- A shopkeeper treats a chronic complainer with the same care as a regular, and the griping fades.