About this quote

Feeling like you're the only person with messy or frightening thoughts makes everything heavier. Realizing others have the same reactions can cut that weight and reduce the shame that keeps you isolated. Try naming one thought to someone you trust or put it on paper; that small action proves the thought doesn't define you. Pay attention to who hears you calmly — those people make it easier to handle what comes up.

When to use it

• In a therapy session after a panic attack, I told the therapist about the awful images and she said, "You're not the only one," and I finally stopped apologizing.
• During a late-night dorm conversation someone admitted they'd had the same dark thoughts and I felt less like I was the weird one.
• Before a big presentation at work I told a teammate I was panicking and they said they'd been there too, which helped me focus and prepare.
• As a new parent I felt guilty for intrusive thoughts until another parent said they'd had them as well, and I stopped beating myself up.