About this quote

Judgment eats up the attention you could use to connect with someone. Notice the first critical thought when you meet a difficult person and pause for a beat. Ask a simple question about their situation or offer a small kindness instead of sizing them up. Practice this a few times and you'll find more room for real understanding in your relationships.

When to use it

• At a staff meeting after a teammate misses a deadline, you say, "Before we assume the worst, let's check what's going on for them."
• After your teenager storms out over a rule, you tell yourself, "I'll ask why they're upset instead of jumping to conclusions."
• Volunteering at a shelter, you meet someone who seems rude; you think, "They're hurting — I'll give them time rather than judge."
• In class when classmates laugh at a wrong answer, you step in with, "Let's help them get it instead of making fun."