If those who believe that we were becoming supine and inert because of the training in non-violence, will but reflect a little, they will discover that we have never been non-violent in the only sense in which the word must be understood. Whilst we have refrained from causing actual physical hurt, we have harboured violence in our breast. If we had honestly regulated our thought and speech in the strictest harmony with our outward act, we would never have experienced the fatigue we are doing. Had we been true to ourselves we would have by this time evolved matchless strength of purpose and will. I have dwelt at length upon the mistaken view of non-violence, because I am sure that if we can but revert to our faith, if we ever had any, in non-violence limited only to the two purposes above referred to, the present tension between the two communities will largely subside. For, in my opinion, an attitude of non-violence in our mutual relations is an indispensable condition prior to a discussion of the remedies for the removal of the tension. It must be common cause between the two communities that neither party shall take the law into its own hands, but that all points in dispute, wherever and whenever they arise, shall be decided by reference either to private arbitration, or to the law courts if they wish. This is the whole meaning of non-violence, so far as communal matters are concerned. To put it another way, just as we do not break one another's heads in respect of civil matters, so may we not do even in respect of religious matters. This is the only pact that is immediately necessary between the parties, and I am sure that everything else will follow.

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Source: Young India, 1924-1926 (S. Ganesan, 1927), pp. 31-32, by M. K. Gandhi; Wikiquote sourced entry.

About this quote

Refusing to strike someone while still seething at them isn't peace; the buried resentment leaks out as fatigue and strain. Real calm asks your private thoughts to match your restrained hands, and it hands live disputes to a neutral referee instead of letting each side appoint itself both victim and judge.

When to use it

  • Someone who acts polite while nursing a grudge stays tense until the feeling and the behavior finally line up.
  • Two families in a boundary dispute call in a mutual friend to arbitrate rather than trading insults across the fence.
  • Teammates route a bitter disagreement through a neutral facilitator instead of quietly undercutting each other's work.