About this quote

Being watched often pushes people to offer tidy answers that protect them more than they reveal. Those neat replies keep private life private and keep the audience satisfied. If you want a real response, move the conversation offstage or allow a quiet pause. Watch the pauses and the hands — they often say what the words won't.

When to use it

• Live TV interview: the producer hisses, 'Don't push him about a girlfriend — he'll give that polite no for the cameras.'
• Family Thanksgiving: you lean over and whisper, 'He just gave the quick shake — ask him about his relationship later when you're alone.'
• Post-game press conference: a teammate tells a reporter, 'That answer was for the fans; follow up in private if you want the truth.'
• Campus panel Q&A: after a shy student dodges a personal question, you tell a friend, 'He'll default to the rehearsed line onstage — catch him after class.'