About this quote

You can feel deep sorrow and still register that being alive matters. Pain and appreciation can exist at the same time, and that does not mean you are weak or divided. Look for a small, physical anchor — the weight of your feet, the taste of a drink, a single bird outside the window — and use it to steady attention. Ask yourself which tiny fact proves you are present, and hold that fact until the edge of grief eases.

When to use it

• After three months of job hunting, at coffee with my friend I said it out loud to stop spiraling and remind myself I still wanted to try.
• During a therapy session when I described a week of low days, my therapist suggested I name one thing that proves I'm alive, and I remembered the line.
• At my sister's hospital bedside, exhausted and crying, I whispered the words under my breath to focus on her breathing and my own.
• Halfway through a brutal training run, I repeated the idea to myself so I could notice the fact that my legs still worked and keep going.