“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
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About this quote
Hope can keep you attached far longer than the relationship deserves. You start excusing absent behavior because you believe someone will become who you imagine, and that wastes time and energy you could spend on people who are present. Ask yourself whether you are holding on to actions you want to see or to the actions you actually get. Try naming two repeated behaviors you won't accept, tell the other person clearly, and set one concrete boundary if those behaviors continue.
When to use it
- Dating: After he promised he'd improve his communication for months and didn't, I told him, 'If your texts don't change this week, I need to stop waiting around.'
- Money/roommate: When my partner missed rent again while saying he'd 'get better', I used this line and moved my name off the lease.
- Work: My co-founder kept promising to handle client calls but never did, so I said, 'Either you take the calls this month or I hire someone else.'
- Family: After my brother kept saying he'd apologize 'soon' for past behavior, I paused calls until he actually apologized and showed a small change.