About this quote

A sharp, joking line like this cuts tension and forces attention back to desire and human impulse. It works by trading seriousness for ridicule, giving people permission to laugh rather than stay trapped in awkwardness. At the same time, the humor can paper over things we don't want to face. Notice when you laugh—ask whether the joke is easing connection or hiding a conversation you need to have.

When to use it

• After a brutal client pitch that went nowhere, at the office I laughed and said, 'I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer,' just to break the tension.
• During a 3 a.m. study break in the dorm, someone blurted, 'I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer,' and everyone collapsed in laughter to relieve the stress.
• Giving a slightly cheeky wedding toast, I used the line to get an awkward laugh and move the room on.
• After two terrible dates in a row at the bar, I told my friend, 'I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer,' as a sarcastic way to shrug off the night.