About this quote

Your mind holds the final veto over how external events affect your peace. When someone insults you, the pain does not come from their mouth; it comes from your decision to let it sting. You can choose to strip away the meaning you attach to their words. It sounds impossibly simple, but it requires fierce discipline to implement in the heat of the moment. Next time you feel slighted, pause and refuse to adopt the victim role.

When to use it

• Your manager gives harsh feedback on your presentation in front of the team. You tell yourself, 'She criticized the slides, not my worth, so I have no reason to feel wounded.'
• You get cut from the starting lineup before the final match. Instead of stewing in anger at the coach, you decide that this decision cannot break your focus or ruin your training habit.
• A relative makes a passive-aggressive comment about your career choices during Thanksgiving dinner. You smile and let the comment slide right past you, refusing to give their attitude any power over your evening.
• You lose money on a bad investment and feel the panic rising. You remind yourself that the cash is gone, but letting it ruin your sleep is a choice you do not have to make.