About this quote

Small attractions can push us to make big life decisions before we actually know the person. Imagination fills the gaps and makes feelings arrive sooner and feel larger than the facts. Ask yourself what you can list about this person that isn't wishful thinking. If the list is short, give the situation time and verify one concrete detail before acting.

When to use it

• Dating app conversation: After three thoughtful messages I caught myself picturing wedding photos, so I decided to meet for coffee before imagining anything else.
• Office lunch after a compliment: At work, he praised my report and I started picturing a future together, so I kept things professional until I knew him better.
• Study group admiration: I admired a classmate's ideas and found myself planning a life with them, so I asked about their goals to see if we actually matched.
• Weekend trip together: One perfect weekend away had me thinking about moving in, so I took a night to think and then talked about practical expectations.