"The truth must be served like a coat, and not thrown in the face like a wet towel." – Mark Twain

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." – Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." – Mark Twain

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." – Mark Twain

"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." – Mark Twain

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody." – Mark Twain

"Only two things we'll regret on deathbed – that we are a little loved and little traveled." – Mark Twain

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." – Mark Twain

"Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied." – Mark Twain

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been." – Mark Twain

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man." – Mark Twain

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." – Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." – Mark Twain

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.  " – Mark Twain

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read." – Mark Twain

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." – Mark Twain

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." – Mark Twain

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." – Mark Twain

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with." – Mark Twain

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." – Mark Twain

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter." – Mark Twain

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." – Mark Twain

Related: John F. Kennedy Quotes

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." – Mark Twain

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." – Mark Twain

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it." – Mark Twain

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid." – Mark Twain

"Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain." – Mark Twain

"Honesty: The best of all the lost arts." – Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." – Mark Twain

"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it." – Mark Twain

"Buy land, they're not making it anymore." – Mark Twain

"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds." – Mark Twain

"The lack of money is the root of all evil." – Mark Twain

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times." – Mark Twain

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old." – Mark Twain

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." – Mark Twain

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." – Mark Twain

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." – Mark Twain

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." – Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." – Mark Twain

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." – Mark Twain

Related: Albert Einstein Quotes

"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little." – Mark Twain

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." – Mark Twain

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up." – Mark Twain

"Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work." – Mark Twain

"If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare." – Mark Twain